


I Know The Sun Will Rise

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Marauders' Era, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2004-08-09
Packaged: 2018-05-18 19:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5940958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys discover their feelings for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wandering alone - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Remus Lupin was lying on the floor of the attic, where he usually lived when he was at home. His parents locked him up there, denying they had a son, unable to accept that their son was cursed. His father has beaten him up again, as usual when he was drunk and in a bad mood. He came up to let off his anger and frustrations. The werewolf was trembling on his whole body because of the pain. He felt the blood on the tracks the belt had left on his back and the bruises on his face, arms and legs were burning like fire. A part of him wanted to cry out loud, but he knew there was no sense of doing this at all, so he tried to control himself.

'Damned holidays... damned world... DAMNED EVERYTHING!!! Oh, how I'd LOVE to be with Padfoot and Prongs and Wormtail now... But I can't! These ... would never let me go... run away... climb out of the window... Standing in front of Padfoot's door... It would be... Heaven! If I just could go...'

Remus stood up slowly, trying to forget the pain, and walked through the room to a trunk, which contained an old violin and some books of music. He discovered it several years ago when he was terribly bored and he started playing. There was also a book for very beginners, so he taught himself how to play [1]. At first it sounded horrible, and he was glad his parents silenced and secured the room long time ago, for nobody noticing he as around, but after a time he advanced and he became quite good. At home (he didn't felt home there at all) this was the only thing to make him forget his sorrow.

The boy took the instrument carefully out of it's case, tuned it and then he started improvising. The melodies flew out of his fingers like the tears that finally could get out. He had no idea how long he had been playing, when in his mind a plan was getting clearer and clearer. He would go away. He would go to Sirius. Padfoot. Just climb out of the window, slide down the roof... well, it was quite dangerous, but... Better than staying here.

These hopeful thoughts turned the first aggressive, almost brutal sounds of the instrument into a calm and tender melody.

+++++

By the time it grew darker and darker, and Remus was packing his stuff into a huge backpack, worrying about how to take the violin with him. This was the first time he had the urge to take it with him. He learned to love it so much in this summer, that he just wasn't able to leave it back. But he didn't wanted his friends to know that he played. The teen couldn't tell why, he just... didn't wanted them to. After having everything ready he opened the window and squeezed himself out of the tiny window.

'One time I'm thankful to you ... for don't giving me almost anything to eat...' he thought almost grinning a little bit, although it wasn't funny at all. To be honest, he was starving, and often he felt almost to weak to stand because of the lack of food.

He stood securely on the projection in front of the window, trying to get his backpack out without making too much noise. As he finally made it he started climbing down carefully and landed on the floor silently. Then he started running until he was hidden in the woods, then he went walking calm.

'I'm so glad, that Sirius lives... well, not near, but I should get there today in the evening or at least tomorrow morning if I keep my pace more ore less... I hope he's there... He just has to be there...'

Remus kept walking without allowing himself to take almost any break for hours and hours. The sun had already risen high the next day, birds were singing and it was a simply beautiful day, but the werewolf didn't notice it. He was so tired and also far away from a good condition that he almost couldn't carry on. The only thing that gave him the energy of getting further was the thought of being with his friends soon. After another couple of hours, the teen has lost any feeling of time, when it was dark already, the teen finally arrived in the small town near London where Sirius lived. He had to concentrate on every step, he was out of any energy, he hadn't eaten for 2 days now, drank only a few sips of water from a small brook, and he felt really ill. If he only knew... where the house exactly was...

But well, even an unlucky person like him has to have some luck sometimes, and much sooner than he had expected, he was standing in front of a big, beautiful house with a huge garden, and above the doorbell there stood 'BLACK' in beautiful letters. Remus let out a big sigh of relief.

+++++

"MOONY!" he heard Sirius familiar voice crying loud and very happily. That was the last thing he perceived, then he tumbled down and passed out.


	2. Two

Remus opened his eyes, wondering where he was. He felt ill and the whole room was spinning slightly around him. 'Hm, normally rooms shouldn't do that...'. Then he felt a hand petting his head tenderly and he wondered even more. He was lying in a comfortable bed in a room he has never seen before... But he could think as much as he wanted, but he had no idea where he was nor how he got there. "Nah, have you finally woken up, Moony?" a half amused, half concerned voice came from somewhere.

"Padfoot?!" he gasped "What are you doing here? ... or other question... what am I doing here?"

Sirius chuckled, "Kinda confused, aren't you? Well, you suddenly stand downstairs in front of the house, sometime past midnight yesterday, and you were lucky, 'cause I just cought you before you would have hurt yourself seriously breaking down. Then I carried you up and put you in my bed. And there you are now."

"Oh. Thanks..." Remus muttered "But... where were you sleeping... and... what time is it? Padfoot, I'm sorry I turned up here so... sudden. I hope... What do your parents say about it? I mean..." "Shhh, calm down..."

'This is so much Remmie... Always concerned about the others, no matter in what conditions he is...' he thought, slightly smiling. "First, I was sitting here and I slept... sitting, it was ok. Second, it's 3:30 p.m. Third, it doesn't matter at all, that you are here, my parents were already waiting for you. We are glad you are here. But don't think about these things now, just relax, try to sleep a lot, and to GET WELL SOON, because you're sick. You caught a flu or something like that. And you are far to thin, Moony. It shouldn't be so easy to carry a person of your size... I'll bring you something to eat, right?" Padfoot was sounding really concerned, looking down to his best friend, lying pale and skinny in this huge bed. Sirius had been sitting the whole night by Remus' side, watching over the sleep of his friend. 'Moony sleeping looks really cute... Well, he's not only cute when he's sleeping, to be honest...' the Animagus thought and tried not to smile too idiotical.

"I... I'm not hungry..."

"Nope, Remus, you HAVE to eat. I'm sure you fainted, because you haven't eaten enough. Or how else could you explain, that you're only skin and bones at the moment?"

Suddenly tears welled up the werewolf's eyes, when he remembered everything what had happened before. His father beating him up and... doing so many other things, which hurt too much to even think about them... He could never tell Siri about them... He wouldn't believe him, he would just think, that Remus was... whatever, but he wouldn't believe him. All the bruises and wounds suddenly hurt again, and he noticed that he was trembling.

"Hey, what happened? Moony, don't cry... shh..." Sirius slipped over to the bed, lying down beneath the other boy and embraced him. He was holding his skinny body tight, trying to protect him from everything. Remus winced and whined slightly as Sirius touched all these hurting patches all over his body. Moony pressed his face to Padfoot's chest, clinging his arms so hard to his neck, as he never wanted to let him go again.

"Don't leave me alone Padfoot... please..." Remus muttered into Sirius chest.

"No, I won't leave you, don't be afraid anymore... I'm here with you"

'It hurts so much to see him like this... What the hell could have happened to him? He's always been so strong, so... calm... I've never seen him so off his nerves as today...Poor Moony. Why always him? It's so unfair!!!'

The animagus was caressing the back of the boy in his arms, when Remus suddenly made a sound as if something had hurt him. "Sorry, sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No no, but... ouch..." he almost couldn't breath because his whole body was in pain, it felt like he was exploding. "What happened? Let me see... please"

"No!" the teen tried to get away from Padfoot, but he held him tight.

"But..."

"NO!!! Please don't..."

"Come on, moony... Let me see what's the matter..."

Sirius crawled carefully over the other boy to see his back, and the werewolf wasn't fighting against him anymore. He carefully shoved up the dirty shirt, but when he saw what was under it, he wished he hadn't looked: Almost the whole skin was full of cuts, bruises and scars, some of the wounds were bleeding or suppurating. It looked terrible.

"Oh my god... Remus... Moony... Who did THAT to you?! My god my god my god... it's terrible! My poor Moony..."

"My... my... father..."


	3. Three

Sirius was lying in the bed with his friend, where this one fell asleep finally. Padfoot has had quite a work to convince Remus, that his wounds had to be washed and patched up.

'Poor poor Moony... Which monster... fuck, I don't understand it! At least he is sleeping now... I think we should make us some nice days with Prongs and Wormtail, so he doesn't think so much about what had happened...'

He held the smaller boy tight and placed a tender kiss on his hair. "Sleep well, Remmie" Sirius whispered, then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

+++++

The next morning the young werewolf woke up by the sound of somebody coming in. He opened his eyes and looked from where the sound came from. Then he saw Sirius carrying a tray with something looking like breakfast.

_yawn_ "Morning Padfoot!"

"Morning Moony! Did you sleep well? Are you feeling better?"

"Yes... 'twas one of the first nights since long time, that I really slept well..."

"Here, your breakfast. And you are going to eat ALL!" the black- haired boy ordered. "And if you feel healthy enough Prongs is going to come over. Wormtail is also going to visit us. He should arrive in three days, he stays with Jamie then. So, do you think you are fit enough to have visit?"

"Sure!" Remus said happily, and he smiled, which made Sirius happy in turn.

'I'm so glad to be here with Padfoot... He's so full of energy... always talking, always smiling... He makes me forget everything around... shit... he cares so much of me, and he's so... so... so cute and everything, but... it's only because he is my friend. I'm sure he would be the same when James or Peter were in this position. But for me... he's so much more than just a friend. I could keep watching him for hours. This soft black hair, which never stays in the ponytail he tries to keep it in, always with some strands in his face, then these deep blue-green eyes, which always seem to be laughing, these soft, red lips, his slender but strong body... I feel so... safe, so loved in his arms... Oh, STOP it, Moony, you're impossible! He's just your best friend. You shouldn't be attracted by him in that way! He's a man! And... I'm not... gay, aren't I? Or... well... nope, I don't think so... But... anyways... I think I... I love him... Why does everything gets so complicated, when it comes to love...'

"Ahm, Moony? Still here? Earth to Moony, Earth to Moony, come in please, come in please!"

"Wa... what? Sorry, I was... thinking..." Remus stuttered, blushing madly...

"Aaah, and... what was the object of your oh-so-intensive thoughts?" Sirius asked grinning.

"Um... nothing" muttered the other boy, blushing even more.

"Oh, sure, nothing... You're such a bad liar, Remmy... Well, eat now, before everything gets cold..." the animagus said, chuckling. And he did as he was told to, noticing how hungry he was.

+++++

James, Remus and Sirius were all sitting in Sirius room, Moony still in his pyjamas, sitting in the bed, his head leaning on Padfoot's shoulder. He decided, this would be better, as he still wasn't feeling well enough to walk around. It surely would be better, if he does everything to get healthy as fast as possible, so the Marauders could do what Marauders are supposed to do. He chuckled a little bit, when he thought of the pranks they were thinking of for the next school year. He looked out of one of the huge windows. It was an overwhelming sight, the big house of the Blacks was on the top of a hill and you could see a beautiful small bay and from there the sea. Remus had always loved the sea. He could sit hours there, just listening to the sound of the waves. Or on a shingle beach the sound of the pebbles rolling back and forth by the waves. His eyelids grew heavier and heavier and short time after he was fast asleep.

"Prongs, I think Remmie is asleep. I need really to talk to you, but... could we go outside, if we manage to go without waking him?"

Sirius pulled the smaller boy, who whimpered silently (what sounded quite cute, the animagus thought) when he noticed, that he was moved, very carefully to a lying position, but fortunately he didn't wake up. As quiet as possible the two went out and walked down to the sea.

"So, what happened?" James asked

"Too much... far too much to understand, for me... or even to can cope with... Shit... Prongs, I don't know, what to do..." the black- haired boy said, sounding quite shattered.

"Well, I really would like to help you, but that would require that you tell me what happened. It's 'bout Moony, isn't it?"

"No, dear, you know, it's that I'm madly in love with Prof. Trelawney, but she saw herself with 12 children, our children, naturally, she got afraid and ran away from me. Now I want to have her back, but I don't know how. Please, honey, help me!" Padfoot told him, twinkling his eyes meaningful and in a voice gushing with sarcasm. "Argh, you silly git, of course it's about Moony... He... he... Fuck, I don't know, where to start..."

"OK, one question. Are you in love with him? I'm just asking, because... Well, to me it seems like that."

"You caught me... Yes I am. Pretty much. You know, I feel so sorry for him..."

"Do you feel sorry or do you love him? I mean, it's a big difference, Siri. You always have to be aware of that."

"James, I know that! And - how could I not feel sorry for him? You haven't seen him, when he arrived! He fainted the moment he saw me, I have no idea how long he had been walking, for how much time he hadn't eaten a bit! You have not seen this skeleton-like body, you haven't seen his back - no, his whole body - full of bruises, cuts, scars, everything was bleeding! You haven't seen all this!" 

Sirius shouted, breathing very fast and his head fell to his chest. He tried to hold the tears that came into his eyes. James touched the shoulder of his friend. 

"I'm so sorry, Padfoot. I also feel sorry for Remmie, you can believe me. It's terrible, what happened to him, and we should try to help him as good as we can. And I'm sure you are helping him a lot with what you do. The only thing I wanted to say is, that you shouldn't mix up love and compassion." he said, trying to calm down the obviously outraged boy. Prongs embraced him, noticing that his shoulders were trembling. "Shh... Everything's going to be alright... Shh" "You know..." Sirius said sniffling, smiling sadly with tears in his eyes "It's kinda funny. Yesterday I were in your position, holding Remmie in my arms while he was crying, trying to comfort him. I were the strong while he was the weak one. Now you have to be strong for me, 'cause I'm too weak..."

"You're not too weak, Siri. This is a fucking hard situation. It's not easy to deal with something like that. OK, waddya think about a cup of hot chocolate?"

"Great idea!" the black-haired boy answered smiling, and they headed up to the house.


	4. Four

Back in the house James and Sirius heard some music coming from upstairs. They kept listening a little bit, wondering what it was.

"Weird... I didn't know I had such a CD..." Sirius muttered, when suddenly the melody stopped. After some seconds it started again, a sad, song-like melody, which sometimes almost sounded if the instrument was crying, but after a time it changed, it sounded like if there had been a ray of light, a ray of hope.

"I don't think it's a CD... D' ya know, does Moony play the violin? Or is anybody else here?" James whispered to his friend, who was listening with his eyes closed.

"Wa-what? No, don't think so... At least he never told me..." he answered quietly.

"We could look, if it's him..."

"No, wait... I don't want him to stop yet, if it's him..."

Some time after both went upstairs as quiet as possible and entered the room. Remus was standing in the middle with his eyes closed, moving slightly with the music.

+++++

When Remus woke up some time before he found himself alone in the room. He wondered, where his friends had gone, but maybe they just wanted to talk a little bit, and didn't want to wake him. So he took his violin and started playing. Soon his fingers got warm and again he played all of his feelings off him.

If the melody he played had been a song with lyrics, they would have been telling about physical and psychic pain, suffering, but also about hope, love, though it would be kind of one-sided love. But all in all not an all too happy song... He also played some of the music he brought with him. Still at home he started to practice a horribly difficult piece, one of the Partitas [1] by J.S. Bach, a Muggle composer, who lived about 300 years before. The young wizard liked his work, though he hardly knew anything by him. It was just the style he liked, and he kept playing the piece, and he noticed, it was always getting better.

He lost himself in the harmonies, gliding from already written music into improvisations, playing for very long time. Time lost its meaning, the only things that were important were his fingers touching the strings, his other hand moving the bow. Moony was so deep in his play that didn't realize the other two boys entering the room and sitting down on the floor. Nobody of them could have told, how long they have been there, when Remus stopped exhausted and suddenly he heard somebody applauding. He opened his eyes and saw Padfoot and Prongs sitting there with really admiring looks. Then he felt, that he blushed and he muttered something sounding like "Sorry... didn't hear you... ahm...ehh...yes..."

"Moony, it was wonderful! You don't have to be sorry, it was really... wow." The blue-green-eyed wizard said, stood up and went to the smaller boy in front of him.

"Why didn't you tell us, you played the violin?"

"I...I...dunno... I don't play so well and..."

"Not so well? Are you insane? You play incredible!" James said to the boy, who still was quite red in his face. "Who taught you that?"

"Umm... I... by myself. I found the violin one day... In the attic where I'm always locked up, when I'm at... home. I hadn't any other thing to do, was really bored, so I... played... But the instrument is... quite bad. I'd need to have it fixed up... or a new one would be even better. But... I... don't have any money. Before I think of a new instrument I have to think how to afford the things I need for school. I think I'll need a new trunk, cause... mine is at... my parents house, and I'm surely not going there..."

"Don't worry about the trunk. I'm sure we have one you can borrow, an old one of my sister or my brother." Sirius offered his friend, who was looking so lost and in need of care, that he barely could hold himself back from taking him in a tight embrace.

'Don't be stupid, Black! He's just your best friend! He doesn't like you in this way... Stop hoping this to come, it's pointless!'

"What would you two think of an excursion to London, when Wormtail's here? We could also stroll a bit through Muggle London, I'd need some clothes and it's always fun to look at all the muggles and their stuff..." James suggested grinning. It seemed, like it was also up to him to have ideas to distract the others a bit from depressive or other unpleasant thoughts.

"Another great idea, Prongs! And what would you think if we'd go now to have our hot chocolate?" Padfoot answered.

+++++

Moony was again completely recovered when Wormtail arrived. They informed him almost immediately about their plan of going to London. Now the only thing which was missing was the permission of Prongs' and Padfoot's parents.

Sirius was a little bit concerned about how to get it from his mom. 

"I tell you, if I say to mommy, that we want to go to Muggle London, she'll explode like a fire-cracker, but not one of the "no heat" ones... We should tell her we're only going to Diagon Alley... Maybe we could convince her, that we stay one night in the Leaky Cauldron, but... I don't know. She's so fucking strict with these things. Otherwise she's the best mom you can have!"

"Then we also tell my mother that we're only going to Diagon Alley... I hope she lets us stay one night. Would be great... We could go to a bar, either wizard or muggle bar, maybe get a little bit drunk..." James chortled at this thought.

Remus was looking a little bit concerned, he had no idea how to pay for all this. He had some money to pay the stuff he needed for school, but then there would be only a little bit left, and it would be better if he saved it for the school year. He really would like to go with them, but...

"Remmie..." Padfoot interrupted his thoughts "You are looking so... down. What's the matter? Oh... is it about the money?"

"No, no... yes..." he answered sighing.

"Hey, don't worry about it. We are going to make it somhow." Prongs tried to cheer him up.

'They are really nice, but... I don't want their charities.' The young werewolf kept thinking.

"I don't want any... You don't have to give me money!" he said to them, scowling.

"OK, and what would you think if I lent you some money, and you give it back to me as soon as you have it? You wouldn't have to hurry up with it, I really have enough, you know it." The bespectacled wizard proposed to the skinny boy.

"But..." He knew, that James really had enough, as his parents inherited a huge fortune some time ago, and he never had been stingy.

"No buts. OK? You are just supposed to have fun. Don't worry, kay?"

Remus jumped up and hugged all his friends together "You are so nice, all of you, you are the best friends I could ever get! I love you all..." he said to them.

"We also love you, Moony" Padfoot said tranquilly. 'If he could know how much I love him...' "And now lets go down to my mom and ask her if we can go."

+++++

"But mom... Please!" Sirius said to his mother, looking at her with his irresistible doggy look.

"Don't look at me like that, Sirius Black... Well, what else can I do than to say yes?" She said with resignation, then her son threw himself to her and hugged her, as if he wanted to squash her.

"Hey hey, will you let me alive, please?!" she said, trying to stay serious. "But you know, no drinking, no drugs, and NO going to Muggle London!"

"No, no, we'll be good boys!" he said with feigned innocence, and they rushed out of the room.

The next two days are going to be great, everyone was looking forward to going.


	5. Five

It was about 9 in the morning, when they were all standing in front of the fireplace to go to Diagon Alley. Sirius was still rubbing his eyes and he was quite grumpy, because his friends woke him up by pouring a whole bucket of water over him (James' excuse: "I whispered a couple of time, you should wake up, but you didn't move, so... I'm so sorry, my dear..." he said, grinning mischievously. It was obvious he just didn't want to let the fun of waking Sirius up brutally, go. (A/N this sentence sounds quite... weird, but I don't know how it's right...). And above that he hated mornings anyway.

James was the first one to take a pinch of floo powder, go into the fireplace and say "Diagon Alley". Then he vanished in the flames. The next one was Peter, then Remus followed, and the last one was Sirius. Short after they all met in a lively street full of wizards. The smell was a mixture of countless things being sold all around and sellers were praising their goods loudly. First they went to Gringotts bank to take some money, and also to change some wizard money to muggle money. Outside the bank the marauders inspected the muggle money very curious, especially Remus and Sirius, because it was the first time to see muggle money for them.

"C'mon guys. Let's go to our rooms in the Leaky Cauldron, my mom reserved two rooms for us. She also said she'll pay it... I simply love my mommy!" James announced grinning, and nobody noticed, that the young werewolf looked sad and hurt for a moment.

"Who's going to share the room with whom?" Padfoot asked, hoping to get a room with Moony, but he didn't want to say anything.

"Me and Wormtail and you with Moony, is that OK for everyone?" Prongs asked, of course with ulterior moves. Sirius gave him a "I love you Jamie, I owe you one" look, and Remus also wasn't unhappy too, but then he thought that maybe it wouldn't be so good, 'cause Padfoot surely didn't feel the same for him, and if they got drunk in the evening, as they planned, maybe he wasn't able to control himself anymore and... Otherwise, if that happened, he still could say it only was the influence of the alcohol, and everything would be OK again. Maybe it wasn't too bad to share a room with Sirius at least... And he also didn't know, that his friend he just thought of was thinking almost the same.

+++++

The four boys were standing in a huge music store they found. They wanted to look if they fond some muggle music they liked, they heared some at James' house, he inherited the LP collection of his uncle, who was a muggle (the one who left the fortune behind). He also had an LP player, but he managed to find a charm, to make the LPs play by themselves, and it was also possible to charm them in a way that only you could hear the music, so you won't disturb the others.

Remus thought he maybe would find something by Bach, maybe one of the pieces he wanted to play, so he headed to the part of classical music. Soon he found "J.S.Bach" and he was quite astonished when he saw how many records were there. Then he found some he wanted, and walked to a table with some LP players with earphones on them. He looked how the people at his sides managed the set, and hoped everything would work. To his amazement it did. Soon he was completely lost again in the music.

Peter was walking around a little bit unsure, listening to different kinds of music, but he couldn't find anything really pleasing him until he reached the stand with the hits (A/N: I mean this kind of pop-song, that mother-in-laws, grandmothers and -aunts - sorry to every one who doesn't - hear. There's no really fitting word I know for this music. In German it's "Schlager", in Japanese "Enka", in Spanish it's stuff like "Ballenato",... I hope you understand what I mean and if you know a word, please tell me. And Sorry Wormtail! I just had to do that... ^_^). 

He noticed that he really liked them, even if they were very kitschy. His friends would mock him, he knew. But well, doesn't matter, he knew he liked this stuff.

Sirius landed in the "Hard'n'Heavy" section, listening to stuff like The Cure, Black Sabbath,... 'This muggle things aren't that bad... They have some good music, good alcohol (specially good Whiskey) , good... well, anyway...' he thought grinning. After he decided for one CD he went to look for Moony. 'My Moony' At the thought of Remus a cosy warmth filled his body.

James went to look for some actual LPs, and he found one which really pleased him. It was called "Tapestry" by Carole King, and there was one song he had to show to Moony, or better, let show it Sirius to Remus. The song he was thinking of was called 'You've got a friend', and it suited very well to Remus' position. He made it to his next goal to bring these two together, as he was sure that Remus was in love with Sirius too, but he was just too shy to do anything. And also it wasn't like he didn't knew that Sirius was gay. Well, he went out with a lot of girls, but it never resulted well. Prongs also noticed, that his friend often gazed after gorgeous boys. And if he wasn't gay, then he was at least bisexual. But he couldn't tell him, that he was homosexual, never.

When you're down and troubled And you need some loving care And nothing, nothing is going right Close you're eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest night

_You just call out my name_

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend

\--

When the sky above you

Grows dark and full of clouds

And that old north wind begins to blow

Keep your head together

And call my name out loud

Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

\--

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there, yes I will

\--

Now ain't it good to know that you've got a friend

When people can be so cold

They'll hurt you, yes and desert you

And take your soul If you let them

But don't you let them

\--

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend

\--

It would be just perfect, James thought after he went once more through the lyrics.

Remus was still deep into the music, when he suddenly felt a gentle touch in his shoulder. He turned around, found his face only a few inches away from Sirius', and blushed madly.

'He's so cute when he turns red...

Aaaaaaaaah! Sirius Frederic Black! Stop feeling attracted to your best friend! When will you get it?! When will you get that- that you're in love with him?

OK, 'kay, so you love him. And what if he does not love you, you silly git? Why can't you just don't love a girl like any other normal man?

Dear consciousness! First: I'm not normal, 'cause a normal man wouldn't have conversations with his consciousness, and I hate normal things anyway. Second: I think I don't like girls in this way. You should have already noticed, that I almost don't look after any girl, but I devour every halfway good-looking guy with my eyes. I can't help it. And besides that, I think I would also have fallen in love Remmie if he'd been a girl. He's - cute, so beautiful with his hazel eyes, his golden hair framing his lovely face, these incredibly soft lips - well, at least they look so (oh how I would love to kiss these lips...) - he's strong but so vulnerable, so much in need of love, and I would give him anything, yes anything, and...

Uargh. It's revolting dear Padfoot, sickening, nauseating, repelling. So touching, so tear-jerking, I'm really disgusted. How could such a manly man like you ever turn in such a silly, soft-hearted person?! Leave me alone, dear consciousness, please, just leave me alone! Shut up!'

'Why do I fucking blush every time he looks in my eyes?! It has to be obvious, that I have some feelings for him. But I'm sure he hasn't any for me. Well, feelings for a friend, but nothing more. Nope, Sirius Black, the epitome of a womanizer (if you count the dates and broken hearts, and not the steady girl-friends, as he normally dropped them after the first few dates, after he had his fun) could not have feelings to somebody like Remus Lupin, the shy werewolf. And even if something happened between them, it would be like with all these girls - have fun and then drop him. Yes, it would be like that. Nothing to do... maybe I should try to forget him, it would be the best for me.'

After a moment, which seemed eternal to both of them, Sirius started to talk, not trusting his voice at the beginning.

"Found anything, Moony?"

"Yeah, a lot!" he answered exited, "but I can't buy it... They're too expensive. I really fell in love with two discs... On one are the flute sonatas by Bach, and on the other the violin partitas... but why am I telling you that, you're surely not interested in it at all..." Now Remus felt annoyed by himself, because of making a fool of himself again.

"Don't be so hard to yourself, Moony..." Sirius said gentle "I wouldn't have asked, if I hadn't been interested, wouldn't I?" After that the young werewolf felt even more like he just said something idiotic.

'He needs more self-confidence... It was much better, but I think it's his fathers (grrrrmblwxdfsh) fault. I don't want to know, what he has done to Remmie...' Padfoot thought.

"So, now come on Remmie. Take your discs and then we go looking for a nice pub" he took Remus by his sleeves and pulled him away.

"But..."

"No buts. James told me his mother gave him money, and we all could take one record, and I'll pay the other one. That's the very least I can do for you. And I don't want to hear another 'but' nor I want to see a sad face. I just want to hear one 'Thank you, Padfoot' and a smile on your face that's enough.

It turned into a 'Thanks Padfoot!' and a very tight hug.


	6. Six

"Wizard or Muggle pub?" Peter asked as they were standing in front of the music store.

"Hmmm... In Muggle pubs they don't have any butterbeer, but they have other stuff... I'd like a muggle one better." Sirius loved whiskey. And in an ordinary wizards pub you don't get it. Also whiskey was a good stuff to get drunk. Or maybe also some good stuff to get Remmie drunk, he thought, without any ulterior moves. No, he, Sirius Black never would do that on purpose, what do you think of him, really...

"For me it's the same, as long as I can sit down..." Remus muttered.

"But I want to have some butterbeer..."

"C'mon Jamie, you can get it always... Pleeeeaaase?" Padfoot asked with a really doggy look. 

"But... OK. Right. Why can I never say no, when you look at me like that?"

"Thank's Jamie!" he said hugged his best friend and placed a playful peck on his cheek.

'That's what I meant. He's not heterosexual. No matter what he tells me.' James thought when he pushed his friend a little bit away, trying not to say anything like 'be careful, you will make Moony jealous'.

"OK, now, which direction should we go, we have to be careful, or we'll never find our way back to the Leaky Cauldron. Specially when we are a little bit pissed after..." Prongs was right to be concerned about that, as all of them, except himself had rotten sense of direction. And when he was drunk this ability vanished. Hm. Too bad.

"Maybe we could charm a map, so that it shows us the way!" Wormtail suggested.

"We can't use magic in public! And above that, we're in holidays, we're not supposed to use any magic at all!"

"OK, and are we supposed to get back to the Cauldron?" Pete asked a little annoyed

"You know what? Let's return there, and then we look, if there's something nice near it." Remus tried to stop the coming fight, and he succeeded.

"And what would you think if we go to a bar first, drink a little bit, and then we go to our rooms, armed with some other drinks, and there we... have a little drinking party?" asked Sirius grinning mischievously.

Then they went to a supermarket to buy some alcohol and headed to find a nice bar. The one they chose was almost in front of the Leaky Cauldron.

The four boys tried some of the cocktails and some other stuff, after a time they were already a little bit... happier than usual, but still not drunk. Then they decided that it was time to go, they payed, and went on to the entrance to the wizarding world.

"Maybe we meet some Gryffindors here... we could invite them to our small party..." James suggested. Maybe they could play something like Truth or Dare, it would make it easier to get the two canines together...

By chance they really met Lily Evans, and a friend of her, Caitriona Donovan, another Gryffindor sixth year. Short after they met they were sitting in Sirius' and Remus' room, with some bottles of butterbeer and a bottle of whiskey, on which Padfoot was trying to apply the engorgio-spell, but it didn't work at all.

"What would you think about a little bit of truth or dare?"

+++++

It was about 5 in the morning and Remus was lying in his bed, trying to get some sleep, but it was kinda pointless. The events of this evening were still turning around in his head.

'Lucky Prongs. He was getting on our nerves with that Evans girl for at least 6 months. We'll see if they really get together... I mean it really could happen. She didn't seem to be repelled by him... But between Sirius and me... nothing. Well, not nothing, he was flirting with me, but it was only because of the alcohol... And I pulled myself together, to not drink too much so I won't do anything I'd regret after. And he... I really... he was so cute today... In this music store... I really thought I could see something like... love... in his eyes, but that can't be true, it simply can't be, that's only me seeing signs of love everywhere, but these are only my dreams I project to the others. I have to stop it... I just have to...' he stood up and went quietly to the window to look outside.

+++++

'What was that tonight... I have no idea... Well, I wasn't drunk, I didn't want to do anything stupid, and when I'm drunk, I... always do something stupid. Nope. Not only when I'm drunk... Moony... I'm sure he felt my heart pound when he hugged me today... It was beating so loud and so fast... It was so hard not to kiss him. It's always so difficult... I can't do that anymore, lock my feelings up deep in me... I have to tell him. But what when he feels rejected? I mean... when he doesn't like me in this way, if he feels repulsed by me, by me being homosexual? If he thinks... He looks so cute in his pyjama with all these little stars on it... Shit, I want him so much, so much, so much... it almost hurts. No, it really hurts!' Sirius felt a tear running slowly down his cheek. 'Oh stop it. I won't cry now...' He heard that Remus went out of his bed and he saw him standing by the window.

+++++

Suddenly Remus felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around. Then he found his face again only inches away from Padfoot's. It was the same situation as today in the afternoon, only that it was different. They were alone now. Nobody watching, no reason to control themselves than not to do anything what would reject or hurt the other one.

Moony looked into Sirius' eyes, looked to this face illuminated by the pale light of the moon, and he saw a tear searching its way out of the eye. His hand moved up to the other boys face, touched the eyes and wiped the tear away carefully. Then he noticed that Padfoot's hand also touched his face. Both closed their eyes and let their hands caress the face of the other. Everything around vanished, there were only hands, faces, contacts. They were moving closer and closer together, letting the hands wander down the neck, to the chest, the back, and again up the head wandering through the hair and so on, moving until their bodies touched. Remus let out a tiny gasp as he felt Sirius' soft lips touch his own, but he relaxed immediately in the other boys embrace. He moved his lips, caressing the other lips on his ones. Padfoot's tongue touched Moony's lips, then he found his tongue, it was almost a dance in slow motion, sinking deeper and deeper into the kiss. After a moment that lasted an eternity they parted, still panting, their foreheads still resting together.

"I love you Moony." Sirius whispered "I always loved you and I'll always do."

"I also love you Padfoot... Don't leave me alone..."

"No, I won't. You are safe now."

Then Sirius pulled Remus into his bed and after some more kisses they fell asleep in the others arms.


	7. Seven

Remus woke up some hours after and asked himself, what this weird pillow was, he was lying on. It was firm and moving up and down slowly. Then he noticed that it was Sirius' chest, and he snuggled himself up to the other boy and enjoyed this absolute-sirius scent. Not being able to resist the urge any longer, he kissed Padfoot's lips softly.

The black-haired boy wasn't really awake, but he noticed the gentle lips touching his owns and delighted he gave in to the kiss.

"Good morning, Moony!" he said chummily to his new-found love, looking at the beautiful face in front of him.

"Good morning, Padfoot!" Remus answered and put a small peck on his boyfriend's lips. Then both snuggled together in a tight embrace combined with some kisses, turning the whole situation into some intense snogging. It was so intense, they didn't notice James entering the room until he cleared his throat audible.

"Ahem. Good morning..."

"Uh... Good morning, Prongs..." came from the two boys on the bed, both with a bright shade of red on their faces.

"Uhm. Yes. What's the matter?" Sirius asked, still quite embarrassed, and a little annoyed when he saw the idiotic grin on his best friend's face. "And what's this stupid grin on your face, ah?"

"Hey calm down, Siri..." he said, suppressing a snicker. "I just wanted to wake you up, we should go home. It's already 11:30. And I'm not grinning stupid, I'm just a little bit amused, because you were very busy when I came in, and you didn't notice-"

"How long have you been watching us?" Sirius interrupted his friend angrily.

"Padfoot, I didn't see almost anything. Don't be so offended. I'm glad, you finally spoke out your feelings towards each other, it almost hurt to see you two blokes trying so hard to oversee the obvious. I'm sorry to disturb you, but we really should go. And at home you also have a room for you alone, don't forget that." He said meaningful, earning a rude gesture by Sirius, and chortling he went out.

+++++

The four Marauders fell out of the fireplace in the Black house. A delicious smell of cake was in the house.

"Mmmm, yummy, my mom's making apple pie... It's the best you've ever had, Moony! Hi Mom!"

Muriel Black, a pretty woman in her mid-thirties with black, slightly curled hair and big blue eyes, came out of the kitchen. Her son looked a lot like her.

"Hello boys! How was your trip? Come to the kitchen, cake's just ready."

Five minutes later they were all sitting around the table, having plates with big pieces of warm apple-pie with whipped cream on them. Remus' one was the biggest one, as Sirius' mom also stuck to the idea that he had to gain weight, and she fed him as much as she could. (A/N: More or less like Molly Weasley. I just noticed it, after I wrote this sentence ^.^ And the apple-pie is because it's my favourite one, and I'm just eating a piece of that (luckily it's soft...)). They were talking about the last day, always careful to not mention too much.

+++++

Sirius and Remus were really happy, it was like they would be able to breath again after long time without air.

"Remmie? What do you think... Should we let the others in school know that we're in love, or should we hide it? I mean... for me it's kinda the same, it wouldn't matter if anybody knows that we are together. I'm not ashamed of loving a guy, ashamed of loving you. Because I love you so much. More than my own life, more than everything else in this world. I love you, Moony. Never forget that. When you are depressed again, when you want to hurt yourself again, when you... whatever happens, I'll be always there for you, always. I love you."

Padfoot's hand was caressing Moony's face and after finishing his confession he gave a long, deep and passionate kiss to his love. "I'm not ashamed of you either, I would never be... How could I be ashamed of the most popular guy in school?" Remus asked grinning, after they parted. "If you want, everybody can know it."

"The only people I don't need to know is my family. I don't know how they would react... And quite frankly I don't need to know it..." the other boy said, also grinning, and they started kissing again.

+++++

"Sirius! Remus! You know what? I got an owl from Lily! She'll come to visit us! She'll stay till school starts. Her parents had to go away to work, her sister's staying with her grandmothers and, well, you know how her sister is... And I told her when we met her, that she could visit us, and - she's going to come, she's going to come!"

James was almost singing the last two phrases, Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail exchanged doubtful looks, Padfoot stood up and touched James' forehead but he drew back his hand as though he had burned himself.

"Ouch, it seems as like our little Prongs isn't feeling quite well..." he said in an over-concerned voice.

"Oh, shut it up, dumbass!" Prongs was sounding much more like the Prongs they all knew. "Ignorants!" he snorted.

"When is she coming?" Peter asked to get the conversation off the fighting.

"In three days. Oh, I'm so happy! Do you think she likes me?" he asked, sounding a little bit concerned.

"I don't know. Well, sure she likes you, she wouldn't come if she didn't, but..." Remus said.

"Can I play matchmaker?"

"NO! Sirius Black, I'd kill you, if you did! Just stay with Moony. Moony, can you keep him busy, so he won't come up to stupid thoughts?" pleaded James, knowing exactly he couldn't trust his best friend in such stuff.

"Bah... don't like you anymore..."

"I don't like anymore also."

"I like you less!"

"No, you are much sillier!"

"You are the silliest in the world!"

"No, you!"

"You!"

"You stink!"

"No, you stink!"

"You stink more!"

"And you are ugly!"

"You are uglier!"

"Aren't they sweet little things? They are so mature for 3-years olds, and they talk so well, it's impressing, isn't it, Pete?" Remus asked, shaking his head at the sight of his friends.

"Oh yeah, you are right."

"So kiddos, be nice to each others again, come on, give you the hands and apologise!" But the "children" didn't do what Remus asked from them, but changed a quick look and were suddenly on the same side again, the side against Moony.

"Everybody at him!" James called and he and Sirius started tickling him.

"Waaaaah!" Remus tried to wriggle out, but he didn't manage it, as two bigger boys were on him. He was laughing, lashing out and screaming out loud for help, but Peter made no effort, he was busy with laughing at the moving heap in front him. But James suddenly also started tickling him, and soon all the four were rolling on the floor, one over the other, everybody tickling everybody. Then Sirius, who landed on Remus, surprisingly switched from tickling to kissing, Moony let out a small gasp of astonishment, but he had nothing against a litte smooching, and as James and Peter still were busy with themselves... Well, he thought, they were busy, but the change of action beside them didn't stay unnoticed, and they made the two lovebirds blush a little as they noticed, that they were being watched.

"Should we leave you alone, or are you already finished?" James asked. "I think you can stay, we can continue later, can't we, Padfoot?"

"Ooh... pity... OK, we'll behave again" Sirius answered a little disappointed. "Can I ask you something, James?"

"I don't know, if you can..."

"Will Lily have her own bed, or does she have to sleep with you?" "Aaaaaaaaaah!"

And then the two black-haired boys were rolling again over the floor, tickling each other.

'When I'm here with them, specially with Padfoot, I sometimes really can forget my father and everything... Oh how I wish this all would never end...' Remus thought, his mood something between sad and extremely happy. In the end the happiness won, and he started laughing heartily.


End file.
